Hands-on Parenting

In order to appreciate massage, one must understand tension. Tension is not necessarily bad because, either consciously or unconsciously, it can send warning signals that something is amiss. However, tension keeps feelings and sensations at bay. Understanding its limiting effect, and how to counteract it, is essential in massaging your babies and children. There are two fundamental tensions that we carry in our bodies: “structural tension” and “acquired tension.” Structural tension is the tensional pattern that literally shapes how we stand, walk, sit, move, express ourselves, and experience our lives. These patterns are genetic and specific to our family background. In fact, as we grow older, people may remark that we stand or walk just like our parents do. If you can recognize a structural similarity between yourself and your parent(s), you may soon be able to recognize it in your own child. Acquired tension comes as a result of our experiences in life—both the physical and emotional challenges we inevitably face. Our bodies respond to stress and trauma by tightening, shortening, and/or contracting muscles. Over time, these instinctual muscular reactions to stressful situations turn into the tension and the inflexibility that can cause greater problems. Moreover, as we age, these responses become more firmly ingrained and more difficult to reverse. Life presents many forms of stress to all of us, and the best thing we can do for our children is to prepare them for it. Our first trauma is birth itself. Even though there have been tremendous advances in the facility of the birth process, such as having fathers in the delivery room and providing a comfortable and cheerful maternity suite, babies still experience shock, loss, and separation from the womb. Their bodies respond to this experience by tightening and shortening, thus initiating a pattern that, unless interrupted, will govern their growth and development.